The Salad Entree Heard Round the World
Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned internet pile-on?
A good friend and reader told me I should stop undermining myself at the start of every post by admitting my social media ineptitude.
Oops.
While I’m not as plugged in as most, even I couldn’t escape the recent “viral sensation” that was a passenger’s criticism of a First Class meal served on United Airlines. Let’s take a look.
Yeah, that doesn’t look great, but I have definitely seen worse. And, as a United frequent flyer myself, I’ve been known to disparage a meal or two. However, I’ll save my measured critiques of inflight cuisine for another post.
Instead, let’s take a look at the inevitable thing that happens when something like this reaches the internet: everyone and everything goes too far.1
First, there was the litany of incredulous responses that quickly grew from basic dismay to deeming the salad unfit for human (or animal) consumption.2 That was followed up by people demonstrating their own personal travel superiority by posting pictures of their high-end meals on other carriers. And of course, that wave of preening had to include the obligatory Emirates premium class meal because “Why can’t we have every flight in the US be on Emirates?!”3
Then there was the backlash to the backlash.
“First-world problems!”
“Entitled!”
“At least you got a meal!”
As a primarily economy class flyer, I wanted to grab my social media pitchfork and torch, too! “What about the very nice lady in 37E on your flight that had to pay for her snack box while being wedged between two large fellow passengers!? Were you thinking about her while you pondered the odd translucent reflection off your turkey slices?”
It would have been easy to do, but what are we really accomplishing here?
Finally, the grandstanding came along. Dr. Peyman Milanfar, source of the original post and Distinguished Scientist at Google, challenged United to refund his money so he could donate it to charity. There’s no way United can ignore that humanitarian plea now, can they?
Dude, this is the airline that withstood “United Breaks Guitars.” Do you think that a little meal criticism is going to faze them?4
Thankfully, the one thing I did not see was chirping from other airlines. In today’s day and age, when an airline catches flak on social media, it’s not enough for competitors to stand back and say, “Thank God it’s not us this week.” Instead, too many of today’s airlines (including some executives) feel the need to jump on the dogpile. Trust me, though, it always comes back around.5
In spite of all this internet-based inanity, airlines do very much care about their public perception. However, like any mass market brand, you can’t indulge every single social media blast. It would be one thing if United didn’t serve a meal at all in First Class on a five-hour flight. It’s another to be subjected to hyper-criticism of turkey texture, cheese cubes, and a giant whole tomato.6
This latest kerfuffle is also another reminder that airline food was the butt of jokes when I was a kid and will undoubtedly be the butt of jokes when my kids are grown. You can’t win if you’re serving food on a plane.
Take it from tonight’s host, Bobby Wheat.
The title of my second book will be “The Internet Ruined Everything” — right after my first book, which is yet to be written
I did laugh at someone making a Fyre Festival comparison — that was good
One of the most tired tropes in amateur airline criticism is the fantasyland desire for all flights in the world to be on Middle-Eastern carrier widebody aircraft
Dr. Milanfar did get the “Please DM Us” robot-reply from United, but I’m guessing that’s about all he got
It was a very unwieldy tomato, and I’m not the first to point out the salad’s resemblance to this hilarious Family Guy cutaway
Imagine what a million mile passenger in Economy thinks of this First Class meal.